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The Simpsons FamilyGuest StarsThe SchoolTownspeople
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Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

 

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Apu seems to work at the Kwik-E-Mart 24 hours a day, seven days a week. But please don't be thinking it's only work that Apu is having on his mind, my goodness, no! He manages to spend some of his free time with his wife Manjula and his brother Sanjay. Apu peddles the usual Kwik-E-Mart fare (at remarkably high prices): luscious heat-lamp dogs, chewy frozen microwave burritos, and the ever popular squishee. Apu himself doesn't eat any of this stuff himself since, in keeping with his Hindu beliefs, he is a strict vegan. To Apu's great disappointment, his attempt to bridge the gap between East and West with tofu dogs, curry crullers, and chutney Squishees met with resounding disinterest from customers.

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This is not a library! Hee, hee. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! Come back, big diaper! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog...alright, Sears Catalog Gee, I dunno Way to go, Homer. Bee stings cause me to, uh, die. Release the hounds. Uh, wallet inspector. Who shot who in the what now? Argh! Silence!  You're talking too loud! What about the children! Hi-dilly-ho! This is not a library! We're gonna need pretzels. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! D'oh! My special little guy. What about the children! Ow, my freakin' ears! Happy God! Happy God! Hi-dilly-ho! Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. We're gonna need pretzels. D'oh! My special little guy. I'm going to my room. suck, suck... Ay Carumba! roof, roof... cough... MacGyver! I do. My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' cause the Kaiser had stolen our word  'twenty', I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. She's faking it. I 'ate yer dog. Man, my pants are chafing. Huh, huh. Haw, haw! Hey Simpson, tell your mother her cookies suck! Hey, hey! Excelsior! Everything's coming up Milhouse! Fatty, fat-fat-fat! I bent my wookie.