It’s important to talk with your partner about using condoms. Talking about condoms with your partner for the first time may make you nervous. It can help to practice what you are going to say beforehand.
Then, choose the right time to talk — don't wait until the heat of passion takes over. It may overwhelm your good intentions.
Don't be shy — be direct. Be honest about your feelings and needs. It can help create a relaxed mood to make sex more enjoyable.
Talking is easier if you are in a respectful relationship that makes you feel happy and good about yourself and your partner.
If you haven’t had a talk about condoms before starting sex play, here are some simple and common things to say when you talk about using a condom with your partner:
If Your Partner Says: What's that?
You Can Say: A condom, baby.
If Your Partner Says: What for?
You Can Say: To use when we're making love.
If Your Partner Says: I don't like using them.
You Can Say: Why not?
If Your Partner Says: It doesn't feel as good with a condom.
You Can Say: I'll feel more relaxed. If I'm more relaxed, I can make it feel better for you.
If Your Partner Says: But we've never used a condom before.
You Can Say: I don't want to take any more risks.
If Your Partner Says: Condoms are gross.
You Can Say: Being pregnant when I don't want to be is worse. So is getting AIDS.
If Your Partner Says: Don't you trust me?
You Can Say: Trust isn't the point. People carry sexually transmitted infections without knowing it.
If Your Partner Says: I'll pull out in time.
You Can Say: Pulling out doesn’t help much with sexually transmitted infections. Plus there’s a small chance women can get pregnant from pre-cum.
If Your Partner Says: I thought you said using condoms made you feel cheap.
You Can Say: I decided to face facts. I like having sex, and I want to stay healthy and happy.
If Your Partner Says: Condoms aren't romantic.
You Can Say: Making love and protecting each other's health sounds romantic enough to me.
If Your Partner Says: Let's face it. Making love with a condom on is like taking a shower with a raincoat on.
You Can Say: Well, doing it without a condom is playing Russian roulette.
If Your Partner Says: It just isn't as sensitive.
You Can Say: With a condom you might last even longer, and that'll make up for it.
If Your Partner Says: I don't stay hard when I put on a condom.
You Can Say: I can do something about that.
If Your Partner Says: Putting it on interrupts everything.
You Can Say: Not if I help put it on.
If Your Partner Says: I'll try, but it might not work.
You Can Say: Practice makes perfect.
If Your Partner Says: But I love you.
You Can Say: Then you'll help me protect myself.
If Your Partner Says: I guess you don't really love me.
You Can Say: I'm not going to "prove my love" by risking my life.
If Your Partner Says: I'm not using a condom, no matter what.
You Can Say: Well, then I guess we're not having sex.
If You Are a Virgin and Have Decided to Have Sex and Want to Use a Condom and Your Partner Says: Just this once without it. Just the first time.
You Can Say: It only takes once to get pregnant. It only takes once to get a sexually transmitted infection. It only takes once to get AIDS.
If your partner absolutely refuses to wear a latex condom, you can use a female condom. Some men have said that the sensation is not so reduced with a female condom.
Don't be afraid of being rejected. Besides, the partner who doesn't care about protecting your health and well-being is not worth your sexual involvement.