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Cover of The Straight Dope

The Straight Dope

By Cecil Adams

Edited by Ed Zotti

Illustrated by Slug Signorino

Copyright ©1984 by Chicago Reader, Incorporated

All rights reserved. Published by Chicago Review Press, Chicago.

"The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams" is a trademark of Chicago Reader, Incorporated

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 84-17060

ISBN: 0-914091-54-9



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


A

ABC (network), 276
Adam and Eve: belly buttons in, 1; and myth of ribs, 73
Adams, John Quincy, 103
Adams, Thomas (chewing gum inventor), 262
additives: in beer, 270; in kosher products, 266, 266; in
	toothpaste, 133. See also propylene glycol alginate
adhesive tape: how it works, 89
advertising: of autos, 144; of cigarettes, as grounds for suit,
	169-170; claims for toilet paper, 134-135; of diet
	beverages, 147-148; of H.J. Heinz Co., 148-149; and
	Phoebe Snow, 246; of Post cereals, 111-113; of razor
	blades, 199-141; of Standard Oil, 267-258; subliminal,
	142-144; and sugarless gum, 132-133; in tobacco
	industry, 146; and WATS telephone service, 283-285
aerobic exercise: and heart muscle, 206-207
Africans: variation in characteristics of, 76, 77
afterimage, 178; causes of, 65
Age: of whiskey, 264
Agel, Jerome, 274
air curtains, 136
air fresheners: nasal anesthetics in, 139
airplanes: circular patches visible Prom, 186; rolling and
	looping stunts in, 198-199
airport security systems, 186
air travel: and radiation, 178-181
Airwick (air freshener): and nasal anesthetic, 139
Alamo: Mexican perspective on, 79-80
alcohol, 168-169; as antidote for spicy food, 263; and citrus
	juice, 264; and drowning, 160-161; effect of on body heat
	regulation, 216; percentage of, in light beer, 264; and
	spontaneous human combustion, 157. See also whiskey
alcoholism: physiological effects of, 214-216
Algonquin Indian languages: and U.S. place names, 216
Ali, Muhammad: lifetime earnings of 254
Alice in Wonderland: and Cheshire cat, 6
almonds: cyanide in seeds of, 161, 162
alopecia (baldness): causes of, 208
alpha particles: from smoke detectors, 177
alternating current: and electric chair, 167
aluminum: reaction with ketchup, 92; reaction with silver,
	93; and senility, 163-164; in space, 98
Alzheimer's disease: and aluminum, 163-164
amblyopia, alcoholic, 214
American Express cards: significance of name C.F. Frost on,
	137
American Health, 163
American Humane Association, 280
American Journal of Optometry, 206
American Medical Association, 204
American Museum of Natural History, 7
Amoco (American Oil Co.), 258
American Tobacco Co., 146
americium-241: use in smoke detectors, 176-177, 178
amino acids: and protein quality, 266
amnesia, retrograde: and decapitation, 167
amphetamines, 88
AM-PM: designation of, 99-100
amygdalin: and cyanide poisoning, 161
anal sacs: infections of, in cats, 9-10
anesthesia: early methods of, 219; and suicide, 155
anesthetic, nasal: in air freshener, 139
Anheuser-Busch: and beer additives, 270-271
animals: draft, 191; hypnosis of, 10; terms relating to, 217-
	218; treatment in movies, 280
animal droppings. See excrement
animal products: kosher Rules concerning, 265, 266
Anne, Princess, 105
Antarctica, 8, 126, 237-238
antiperspirants: and senility, 164
antitrust actions: and Standard Oil, 267-259; in taxi
	industry, 147; and tobacco industry, 146-146. See also
	piano-roll industry
anus: of Le Petomane, 298; and sex, 61, 52
aphasia: defined, 217
Appel, Kenneth, 97
Apple, Big (NYC nickname): origin of, 289
Aramaic: and Jesus's name, 27-28
Aristophanes, 57
Arizona, 141, 154; divination of water in, 128
Armada, Spanish: and Ireland, 85-86
Arm & Hammer baking soda: and Armand Hammer, 160-
	151
Army, U.S., 59, 261; and pants pockets, 
Arnold, John, 230
Arnold, Larry, 166
arrest, power of jurisdictional questions, 110-111; by
	concert security guards, 114-115
artists: Irish tax policy regarding, 293-294
ascorbic acid. See vitamins
Asia, 190-191; as continent, 126
asphyxiation: and drowning, 160-161; from painting of skin,
	168
Astaire, Fred: in Royal Wedding, 273
astrology: and Jesus, 27
AT&T;: and WATS service, 284
Atchison, David Rice, 102
atheists: swearing of oaths in court by, 110
Atomic Energy Commission: sale of californium-252, 249
Audichron company (time recordings), 288
aurora borealis, 124
autos: cost of, in Soviet Union, 255-256; Leonid Brezhnev's
	interest in, 264, 256; marketing of 144; as taxicabs, 146,
	147. See also traffic

B

Babylonians: and timekeeping, 96
bacteria: and corpses, 71; and foot odor, 185; and flatulence,
	61; and hand drying, 211
bagatelle, 235
Balcena, Bobby, 230
baldness: causes of, 208; and graying, 202; in women, 204
Bally Manufacturing Co., 235
barns: origin of red color of, 289
Barruel, Augustin de, 36
Baryshnikov, Mikhail, 73-74
basal metabolism. See metabolism
baseball: earnings of Babe Ruth, 264; injuries from fly balls
	in, 227-228; left-handed catchers, 229; Oriental players,
	230; origin of shortstop, 226; and pitcher's mound, 228;
	ways to reach first base in, 226
Bates method (of vision improvement), 205
Bathtubs: electrocution in, from telephone, 285; Millard
	Fillmore hoax, 82
bats: and rabies, 24-26
Baum, L. Frank, 296-298
Beach Boys, 241
"Be a Clown" similarity of, to "Make 'Em Laugh," 276-277
Beadle, J.H., 223
Beatles, The: and "A Day in the Life," 243; Top Ten hits of,
	vs. Elvis, 242-243
Beebee, Phoebe B., 279
beef: quantity per cow, 142
beer: additives in, 269-271; in boilermaker, 266; effect on
	bubbles in mug of, if dropped from Empire State
	Building, 100; explosion of cans of, 186; fastest method
	of cooling, 90-91; light, calorie content of, 264 
belly buttons: in cats and dogs, 1; defects of, 68-69; innies vs.
	outies, 68-69; lint in, 62
Bentley, Dr. J. Irving, 156
Berger, Meyer, 219
Berliner, Emile (inventor of disc record), 196
Bernard of Gordon, 62
Bernhardt, Sarah, 298
Bernoulli principle, 199
Berry, Richard ("Louie Louie" author), 239
Bertolotto, L.: and flea circuses, 5
"best boy": defined, 274
Bibliotheque Nationale, 58
Bic (razor blades), 140
Big Bopper: identity of, 247
Big Wheel: as metaphor, 248
bingo (pinball machine), 296
black holes, 152-153
Bleak House: and spontaneous human combustion, 166
bleeding, 159; effect of water on, 156 
blindness: from alcohol consumption, 214; and vitamin A,
	159
blood sugar: effects of marijuana on, 202; in alcoholics, 215
blood vessels: and atherosclerotic plaque, 206; effect of
	alcohol on, 216; in Eskimos, 70
body, human: and bread-only diet, 158-160; consumption of,
	by spontaneous human combustion, 156-157; hydraulic
	composition of, 165; square footage of skin on, 63. See
	also corpse; nipples
Boeing aircraft: stunts in, 198-199
Bogart, Humphrey: earnings for Casablanca, Maltese
	Falcon, 277
boilermaker (drink), 266
boiling point: effect of pressure on, 97-98
bombings, terrorist: in U.S., 171
Bond, James, 64
bondage, 50-52
bones: formation of, 201; and Jolly Roger, 221; and pinching
	of nerves, 66
"boogie": etymology of, 218
books: and silverfish, 14
borax: as pesticide, 16-17
Born to Kill: animal mistreatment in, 281
Borou, Georges, 45-46
bottles: Coke's policy on, 150; ketchup vs. mustard, 138-139
Booth, John Wilkes, 222; death of, 86-87
Bougainville Island: language of, 188
Bouvier, John, 105
Bowie, Jim, 80
Boyer, Linda: and Sam Cooke's death, 243-244
Brady, James: brain surgery of, 207, 208 
brain: danger to, from nasal infection, 205; and decapitation, 
	167; implications of partial removal of, 207; Ieft-
	handedness, 301; and reading, 77
brain damage: and alcoholism, 214-215; and aluminum, 164,
	and aphasia, 217 , 68
brassiere, largest, 66; increase in average size of
Brazil: racial mixing in, 75-76
bread-only diet: effects of, 158-160
breast, female, 72; increase in size of, 66-67
Brewster, Diane, 278
Brezhnev, Leonid: compensation of, 254-255
British Museum, 58
brontosaurus: color of, 8
Brothers Four: and "Mr. Tambourine Man," 246
Brown, Nacio Herb, 276-277
Brunvand, Jan, 162
Bryan, William Jennings, 297
Buddhists: and halo, 31-32
Budweiser, 147; additives in, 269
bulldogs: and bulls, 3-4 The, 176
Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, The, 176
bullets: as cause of death, 154-155; mass of, compared to
	pennies, 171
"bullpen": etymology of, 229
bulls: and bulldogs, 3-4
burglary, court-authorized (covert entry), 113-114
burial practices, 70-71
Burlington Bioguard Sock, 185
button, bottom: origin of leaving unbuttoned, 79
buttons, coat sleeve: origin of, 82-83
Byrds, 241; and "Mr. Tambourine Man," 246
Byrne, Josefa Heifetz, 218

C

caboose (railroad): history of, 197-198
cadmium: danger of in foods, 166
Caesar, Julius: and cesarean section, 218-219
caffeine: and heart, 206-207
calendar. See timekeeping
California, 154, 167, 206; and TV scheduling, 275-276;
	destruction of, 119-120
californium-252 (most expensive thing in world), 249
"call-to-win" telephone contests: winning of, 286
calories: in carob, 267; in light beer, 264; in sperm, 42
Cambodian alphabet, 188
Campbell, Glen: and "Eight Miles High," 241
Canada, 96, 144, 165-166, 260; and aurora borealis, 124; as
	haven for draft evaders, 107-108
Canadian Broadcasting Co., 143, 144
Canadian Club (whiskey): Hide-A-Case promotion for, 141-
	142
cancer: a deux, 53; and saccharin, 133; of sex organs, 52-53;
	and smoke detectors, 177
Cannell, J.D.: and Houdini, 32 
cans: for condensed milk, 144; beer, susceptibility to rupture
	of, 186; tuna, and lead, 168
carbonless copy paper: how it works, 187
Carroll, Lewis: and Cheshire cats, 6
carbamate bomb: and cockroaches, 17
cards, playing: origin of suit designations on, 232-233. See
	also Cincinnati Kid; "dead man's hand"
carob (chocolate substitute), 267
carotenosis, 208
Carradine, David: and Kung Fu, 280
carrots: effects of excessive consumption, 208
CAR-RT PRESORT: significance of, on mail, 136-137
Carter, Jimmy, 103, 175; and UFOs, 37
cartilage: growth of, 201
Casablanca: earnings of Humphrey Bogart for, 277; fate of
	Dooley Wilson (Sam), 276
Cash, Johnny, 241, 257, 258
cash value: of trading stamps and coupons, 249
caskets: difficulty of opening, 70-71
castration, 45, 56, 218. See also animals, terms relating to
castrato, 46
catnip: effect on cats, 6-7
cats, 218; belly buttons in, 1; and catnip, 6-7; Cheshire, 5-6;
	and hairballs, 7; intelligence of, vs. dogs, 4-5; purring of,
	5-6; Schrodinger's, 93-95; and "spray," 8-10
Catherine the Great: sex habits of 83-84
Catholic Church: 57; and Fatima, 29-30. See also Easter
cattails: cooking methods, 268
Caucasians: variations in characteristics of, 76, 77
CBS (network), 276
Center for Science in the Public Interest, 271
Center for UFO Studies, 37
Centers for Disease Control, 24
centuries: when they start, 99-100
cervix: cancer of, 63; of pig, 46-47
cesarean section: origin of term, 218-219
Challenger (game), 238
Changnon, Stanley, 120
Channel One (TV): fate of, 282
"Chantilly Lace," 247
Charles, Prince, 104, 105
chastity belts, 55; for men, 56
chemicals: in lawn treatments, 20-21
Cheshire cat: origin of, 5-6
Chevron (Standard Oil alias), 258
Chicago, 32, 48, 86, 176, 247, 287, 297; background
	radiation in, 177; effect of, on weather, 120-121; effect of
	nuclear bomb on, 173; Haymarket Riot in, 33, 34; latitude
	of, 124; and meteorites, 154; and O'Hare airport, 291;
	and TV scheduling, 275-276; and "ugliness ordinance."
	104; and Yellow Cabs, 146, 147. See also Sears Tower
Chicago Manual of Style, The 294
Chicago Journalism Review, 291
Chicago Sun-Times, 291
chicken, 218; hearts of, as beer ingredient, 269; hypnosis of,
	10; why nesting hens don't crush their eggs, 2-3
chicle: and chewing gum, 262
Chiffons (singing group), 106
childbirth: and cesarean section, 218-219
chimpanzee: J. Fred Muggs and girlfriend, 273; strength of,
	1-2
chin, double: cure, 67-68
China: result of people jumping off chairs in, 118
Chinese: in baseball, 230
Chinese (language), 77; typewriters for, 187-188
chocolate: compared to carob, 267
chocolate chip cookies: use of water in, 271
choreography: notation for, 294
Christa, Madame (ear sex proprietress), 48-49
Christie, Agatha: disappearance of, 295-296
Christmas: selection of date for, 27
chromosomes, 46, 71; abnormalities in, from lead ingestion,
	168; and male nipples, 71-72
Church & Dwight: and Armand Hammer, 151
cigarettes: advertising of, as grounds for suit, 169-170: and
	bakwe (smoking backwards), 231; pricing of, 145-146;
	"swallowing" of, while lit, 230
Cincinnati Kid, The: winning hand in, 233
Cincinnati Reds: vs. "Redlegs." 228
CINCSAC: and launch of nuclear weapons, 181
Cinerama, 277-278
circumcision, 43; lack of, as factor in cancer, 53
cirrhosis of the liver, 216; and Herod's Evil, 165
cities: effect of, on weather, 120-121; survival of pigeons in,
	11-12
citric acid: and alcohol, 264
clams: heartbeats of, 67
clapboard: use of, in movies, 278
Clement VII (Pope), 58
clitoris: cancer of, 52-53; and tickling, 168
Close Encounters of the Third Kind, 293
cloud seeding, 121
coal: as fuel in locomotives, 246-247
Coca-Cola, 268; company policy on bottles, 150; and diet
	beverages, 147-148; pH of, 92; and subliminal
	advertising, 142-143
cockroaches: history and habits, 14-15; extermination, 16-
	17; and microwave ovens, 19-20; post-mortem
	positioning of, 18
coffee. See caffeine
Coke, Edward, 105
coins: and mills (monetary unit), 254; in Britain, 250-251;
	removal from circulation, 250; as legal tender, 249-250
cold: adaptation to, by Eskimos, 70; sensation of, in wood vs.
	metal, 90; in space, 97-98. See also freezers
College Entrance Examination Board, 291
Columbia Records: and "Mr. Tambourine Man," 246; and
	introduction of 33 1/3 RPM records, 196-197
Columbus, Christopher: and maize, 78
combustion, spontaneous human. See spontaneous human
	combustion
commercials. See advertising
Communist Party: perks for members of, in Soviet Union,
	255
compulsory license tin recording), 246
conception: by two women, 46
concerts: legal rights of attendees, 114-115
Concorde: radiation detection equipment on, 179
condensed milk cans, 144
Congress, U.S., 117, 175, 250, 254, 293; and draft, 106-107;
	mourning observances of, 1 14; and presidential
	succession, 102
Connecticut: and registration of baked goods, 260
Constitution, U.S., 111; and draft, 106-107; 2nd
	amendment, 107; 13th amendment, 106-107; 17th
	amendment, 81; 20th amendment, 102
Consumer Reports: report on smoke detectors, 178
Consumer's Research: report on razor blades, 140
contests: sweepstakes, 256-267; winning 'call-to-win' type,
	286
continents: why Europe and Asia count as two, 126
Cooke, Sam: circumstances of death, 243-244
cookies, chocolate chip: use of water in, 271
Coolidge, Calvin, 103
cooling: of beer, 90-91
Coon, Carleton, 77
copyright: of "Happy Birthday," 244; of personal names,
	110; and piano roll industry, 245; and private
	correspondence, 116; and recording licenses, 245; of
	titles, 109. See also Franz Liszt
Coriolis effect: and bathtub drains, 122-123
corn: meaning of term, in various countries, 78
corpse: of cockroaches, 18-19; exhibition of, 154; John
	Wilkes Booth's body, 86-87; preparation for burial of, 70-
	71; in sideshows, 87; Elvis Presley's body, 109; of
	vampires: signs of, 31
correspondence: publishing of, 116
cosmic rays: hazards of, 178
coughing: and "sparks." 72-73
coupons: cash value of, 249
covert entry. See burglary, court-authorized
cows, 217; McDonald's consumption of, 142; peristalsis in
	62
"Crash landing" (posthumous Hendrix album), 247-248
Creamsicle: vs. Dreamsicle, 269
credits, screen, 278-279
cremasteric muscle, 64
Crockett, Davy, 80
crocodiles: and tears, 3-4
cuckoldry: and "horniness." 216
"The Cuckoo Song" (Laurel and Hardy theme), 277
Curtis, John: and spruce gum, 261-262
cyanide: in fruit seeds, 161
cylinder records, 194-195

D

dance: notation for, 294
dancers, male: jumping by, 73-74; toe-dancing by, 74
Darling, Ron, 230
Darwin, Charles, 75, 168
Davis, Adelle, 203
Davis, Jacob (of Levi Strauss), 133-134
"Day in the Life": orchestration of, 243
"dead man's hand," 232
death: from alcoholism, 214, 215; from bread-only diet, 158-
	160; from bullets and knives, 154-155; from carotenosis,
	208; from cosmic rays during air travel, 180; from
	cyanide in fruit seeds, 161-162; from drowning, 160-161;
	by electric chair, 166; from falling in elevator, 155-156;
	from fire, 177; from guillotine, 167; from laughter, 158;
	from microwave oven, 162-163; from painting of skin,
	167-168; from penny dropped off Empire State Building,
	171; potential, resulting from meteorite, 154; and
	presidential succession, 101; from smoke detectors, 177;
	from spontaneous human combustion, 156-157; from
	terrorism, 171-172; from tickling, 157-158; from
	ventricular fibrillation, 285
Death Valley, 141, 292, 293
decapitation: and consciousness, 167
decomposition: of human body, 70-71
de Cuellar, Francisco (Armada survivor), 85
de la Pena.Jose Enrique: description of Alamo, 80
Delaware, Lackawanna, and Western Railroad, 246
delirium tremens, 214
Democrats, 82, 101, 102, 103; and Lincoln, 81
dentists: and gum, 133
deodorant: and senility, 163; in socks, 185. See also air
	fresheners
Department of Agriculture, U.S., 293
Department of Energy, U.S., 175
depth charge (drink): defined, 266
deterioration, alcoholic, 214-215
de Valera, Eamon, 86
de Villez, Dr. Richard (baldness researcher), 203
Devils Tower, 293
dial, telephone: absence of Q on, 286-287
Diazinon (insecticide), 18
Dickens, Charles: and spontaneous human combustion, 156
diet, 210; and baldness, 203; of pigeons, 12; of silverfish, 14
	of squirrels, 7-8
Diet Coke: vs. Tab, 147-148
Dino the Dinosaur (Sinclair symbol), 8
dinosaurs: color of, 8
dioxin: in animal liver, 166
Disraeli: and Illuminati, 35
divination: for water, 128-129
Dixon, Willie, 241
dogs, 218; bulldogs, 3-4; genetic residue in, following
	pregnancy, 48; intelligence of, vs. cats, 4-5; belly buttons
	in, 1; and pesticides, 20-21; training of, for movies, 281
dominant vs. recessive traits, 93
Donen, Stanley, 273, 277
doors: on freezers, advisability of, 135-136
Doppler effect, 89
Do-Right, Dudley: horse's name, 272
dos Santos, Lucia, 29-30
double album: numbering of sides on, 245
Douglas, Alan: and posthumous Hendrix albums, 247-248
Douglas, Stephen: and debates with Lincoln, 80
dowsing, 128-129
Doyle, Arthur Conan: and Houdini, 33
draft evasion: in Canada, 107-108; legal defenses against,
	106
drains: spirals in, 122-123
Dreamsicle: vs. Creamsicle, 269
droppings, animal. See excrement
drowning: in fresh vs. salt water, 161; going down three
	times during, 160-161; in quicksand, 121
drugs: and baldness, 204; catnip, 6-7. See also MDA;
	marijuana
dryers, electric hand: health claims for, 211
Dungeons& Dragons (game), 233-235
dust: on moon, 121; and nose, 205; and rainfall, 120-121
Dvorak Simplified Keyboard (DSK), 189
Dylan, Bob: and recording of"Mr. Tambourine Man," 246-
	246

E

"ear sex," 48-49
ears: popping in, 62-63
earth: distance to horizon, 120, 127; emptiest area on, 237;
	implications of tube between poles of, 126. Threats to:
	from black holes, 152-153; from "Jupiter Effect," 121-
	122; from meteorites, 153; from people jumping off
	chairs in China, 118
earthquake, 121; danger of, in California, 119-120; and
	infrasonic sound, 212
Easter: setting of date for, 96-97
"echo": on phonograph records, 195-196
Edison, Thomas, 196; and cylinder records, 194-195; and
	electric chair, 167
Educational Testing Service, 291
eggs: chicken, 2-3, 42; cockroach, 14; experiments with, in
	mice, 46; housefly, 17-18; pigeon, 12
Egypt: and Exodus, 27-28
800: significance of, as Scholastic Aptitude Test score, 291-
	292; as WATS line prefix, 283-285
"Eight Miles High": and Glen Campbell, 241
86 (slang term): origin and meaning of, 220-221
Einstein, Albert, 93, 94, 95
Einstein-Rosen bridge: and black holes, 152
ejaculation: in women, 47, 53. See also sperm
elections, U.S. presidential: comparative voting statistics for,
	102-104
electoral college, 101-102
electric chair: death by, 166-167
electricity: aboard cabooses, 197-198; conservation of 189-
	190; in mouth, 92-93; and telephones, 285
electrocution, 166-167; polarizing plugs intended to prevent,
	137; and telephones, 285; from urinating on third rail,
	168-169
electrons, 94; and aurora borealis, 124; in Life Savers, 99;
	and luminescence, 183-184; and standard reduction
	potential, 92-93
elevators: accidents in, 155-156
Elizabeth II, Queen, 104, 105
embezzlement: IRS reporting requirements for, 249
Emergency Broadcast System, 183
Empire State Building (NYC): effect on bubbles in beer mug
	if dropped from, 100; effect of penny dropped from, 171.
	See also Sears Tower
Enco (Standard Oil alias), 258
energy, kinetic: and lethality of bullets, 164
energy conservation: and electric lights, 188; and grocery
	freezers, 136; and recycling of plastics, 198. See also gas
	mileage
England, 34, 51, 78, 127, 296, 296; flea circuses in, 5;
	coinage of 252-253; seasons in, 130; royal family, 104-
	105; and Spanish Armada, 85; suicide laws in, 106;
	timekeeping in, 96
en pointe (ballet technique), 74
epiphyseal plates: and bone growth, 201
Eskimos: body heat conservation of, 70; words for snow,
	224-225
Esquire, 140
Esso (Standard Oil alias), 258
eunuch: how to become, 45
Europe, 76, 190-191; as continent, 126
eustachian tubes, 62-63
Evaporated Milk Association, 146
Everglades National Park, 293
excrement: of animals, terms for, 217; of hippopotamus, 9; of
	whales, depth of, 3
executions: by electrocution, 166-167. See also guillotine
exercise: and heart, 206-207
Exodus, historical records of, 28-29
expensive thing in world, most, 249
extermination: of cockroaches, 15-17, 19-20; of houseflies,
	17-18; of plant pests, 18; of rats, 16, 23-24; of vampires,
	30-31
extradition: from Canada, 107-108
Exxon: and Standard Oil, 257, 258
eyes: and vision improvement, 205-206; and Wernicke's
	disease, 214; of pigeons, 13-14; and reading, 77;
	"sparking" in, 72-73; wiggling of, 200. See also vision

F

fart. See flatulence
Fatima, miracle of, 29-30
fat, animal: kosher laws and, 266; and barbecue grills, 169
fat, human body, 210; and pesticides, 166; and spontaneous
	human combustion, 167; and vitamins A and D, 210. See
	also obesity
Faulkner, William, 223
feces. See excrement
Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), 178
Federal Communications Commission (FCC), 239, 283; and
	allocation of broadcast frequencies, 282; and
	CONELRAD, 183
Federal Trade Commission (FTC), 112, 113, 146
Federation of Organized Trades and Labor Unions, 33-34
felo-de-se (suicide), 106
female-female conception: possibility of 46
fetishism, 50
57 varieties: and H.J. Heinz Co., 148
Fillmore, Millard: career of, 82
fire: and smoke detectors, 177. See also spontaneous human
	combustion
555 (telephone prefix): use of in TV and movies, 283
flagellism, 50-51
Flash Gordon: theme music for, 245
flatulence, 60-62; and cockroaches, 17. See also Le
	Petomane; "petard, hoist by one's own"
fleas, 218; in circuses, 5
Fleming, Ian, 64
food, spicy: antidote for, 262-263
Food and Drug Administration (FDA), 168, 169, 181, 184,
	204, 210, 211; and condensed milk, 145
Forest Service, U.S., 293
Ford, John: and "dead man's hand," 232
formaldehyde: and air fresheners, 139
Forster, Charles (toothpick machine inventor), 134
fossils, 217; of dinosaurs, 8
four-color map problem: solution, 97
Fourier's Law (heat transfer), 91
Fraktur (German script), 84
Franklin, Mrs. Bertha Lee, 243-244
A.F. Fraser, 46
Frederick the Great, 88
Freed, Arthur, 276-277
freezers: in grocery stores, 135-136
French Revolution: and Illuminati, 33-36; Wizard of OZ as
	satire of, 296-298
French's (mustard), 139
Freud, Sigmund: and orgasm, 58
Frost, C.F.: and American Express, 197
Fudgesicles: freezing methods for, 269
Fugitive, The: plot of final episode, 272

G

Gaels: origin of, 86
"gaffer": defined, 274
Gallego culture: and Ireland, 86
Gallo company: and Thunderbird wine, 264
Gary, Indiana: effect on weather of, 120
gasoline: operation of gas station pumps, 199; rationing
	during World War II, 289-290; relation of mileage and
	tire inflation, 192-193
gas, waste: and plumbing, 192. See also flatulence
General Foods: and Jell-O, 261
General Motors, 144, 147
genetic defects: anticipated, from cosmic rays during air
	travel, 180
genetic residue: of male, in female following pregnancy, 48
genetics: chemical basis of traits, 93. See also chromosomes
Gestapo: and Swiss bank accounts, 261
Gillette (razor blades), 139, 140
glass: as solar filter, 124-125; why it's transparent, 92
"glow-in-the-dark" effect. See luminescence
gold: in British coins, 262
Goldfinger: and lethality of skin painting, 167-168
goldfish hermaphroditism, 54-55
Goldsmith, Oliver: and goodie-two-shoes, 220
Goldwater, Barry: tattoo of, 64-65
goodie-two-shoes: origin of term, 220
Goodyear tires, 193
Gottlieb, David: and pinball, 285
Gottlieb, D. & Co., 236, 288
"got" vs. "gotten," 222
Grafenberg spot, 53-54
Grand Rapids Press, 163
Grant, Ulysses, 103
Grape-Nuts cereal, and truth in packaging, 111-113
gravity, 192; and black hole, 152; at center of earth, 126;
	effect of on bubbles in mug of beer dropped from Empire
	State Building, 100; and falling elevator, 155-156
Greeks: and bagatelle (pinball predecessor), 236; and
	designation of continents, 127; and halo, 32; and philtrum
	(space between ridges under nose), 60
Greeley, Horace: and electoral college, 101
J.R. Gribbin: and"Jupiter Effect," 121, 122
grills, barbecue: hazards of burning newsprint in, 169
Grosvenor family: and Cheshire cats, 6
growth hormone. See hormones
G-spot, 53-54
G-string: origin of term, 223-224
GTO: significance of letters, 144
guano (seafowl excrement), 82, 217
guillotine: consciousness of victims following use of, 167
guineas vs. pounds (in England), 251-252
gum, 133; sugarless, advertising claims for, 132-133; history
	of 261-262
GUM department store (Moscow): Soviet perks and, 255-256
Gygax, Gary: and Dungeons & Dragons (game), 228, 224

H

H: significance of, in Jesus H, Christ, 26
Haddock, Ambrose J.: and pinball, 236
Haken, Wolfgang, 97
hair, 159; cat, shedding of, 7; nasal, function of, 205; genetic
	basis for color of 93; graying of 202-203; growth
	patterns of, 74-75; human, use in wigs of, 204; loss of,
	202, 203-204; pubic, function of, 49; and shampoo, 136,
	204. See also razor blades; wool
hairballs: in cats, 7
halo: depiction of, 31-32
Halley's comet: and Nostradamus, 89, 41
Hammaker, Atlee, 230
Hammer, Armand: and Arm & Hammer baking soda, 160-
	151
hamburger: McDonald's consumption of, 142
Hamlet: and "petard," 223
handgun: lethality of vs. rifle, 154
"Happy Birthday": copyright status of, 244
Harding, Warren, 103
Harrison, George, 106
Harrison, William Henry, 103
Harry Fox Agency, The, 246
Harvard Medical School Health Letter, 60-61
Hatley, Marvin, 277
Haymarket Riot (Chicago): and May Day, 33-34
Health Research Group: and hazard of smoke detectors, 177
heart: deterioration of, in alcoholics, 215; effect of caffeine
	vs. exercise on, 206-207; and ventricular fibrillation, 285
heartbeat, 7, 60; during aerobic exercise, 206-207; number
	of, in lifetime, 67
heat transfer: and fastest method of cooling beer, 91; in wood
	vs. metal, 90
height: average, during time of Christ, 26-27; effect of, on
	temperature, 125-126; of Eskimos, 70; methods of
	increasing, 200; variation of, in Africans, 76
Heinz Co., H.J.: and 57 varieties, 148-149; and ketchup, 199;
	and Illuminati, 149-150
hen. See chicken
Hendrix, Jimi: posthumous recordings of, 247-248
Henry II: Nostradamus's prediction of death of 40
heredity, 202, 208; and Alzheimer's disease, 164
hermaphroditism: in goldfish, 54-55
Herod's Evil, 164-165
herpes transmission, 213-214; in spas and hot tubs, 212
Herpes Resource Center, 214
Hertz, John (taxi entrepreneur), 146-147
"He's So Fine": litigation involving, 106
Hickok, Wild Bill: and "dead man's hand," 232
highway traffic, 21-22
Hill, Mildred and Patty (authors of"Happy Birthday"
	melody), 244
hippopotamus: and "spray," 9
Hiram Walker: and promotion of Canadian Club, 141-142
Hitler, Adolph: Nostradamus's predictions regarding, 40
Holly, Buddy, 247
"Hootchie Cootchie Man": and John the Conqueroo, 241
Hoover Institute, 171
horizon, distance to: on earth and moon, 120; variation in,
	127-128
hormones: growth, as way to increase height, 201; and hair
	loss, 204; sex, and male nipples, 71-72
"horny": etymology of, 216
horses, 81, 217, 218; and Catherine the Great, 89; Dudley
	Do-Right's, name of, 272; hypnosis of, 10; injury of, on
	movie sets, 281
hot tubs: and herpes transmission, 212
Houdini, Harry: secrets of, 32-33
houseflies: extermination of, saving of cosmos resulting
	from, 17-18
Houta, Marshall, 168
Humble (Standard Oil alias), 268
Huxley, Aldous: and Bates vision improvement method, 206
hydrostatic shock: from bullets, 156
hyoid apparatus: and cat purring, 6
hypnagogic myoclonus (twitching while falling asleep), 69
hypnosis: of animals, 10
hypoglycemia: effect of marijuana on, 202
hypoxia (tissue oxygen starvation): and drowning, 161

I

ice: and dinosaurs, 8; Eskimo words for, 224-225: in space,
	98
ice cream: freezing of, 269
ideomotor action: and dowsing, 129
Igorot (tribe), 59
Illinois: boundary idiosyncrasies of, 127; and Lincoln -
	Douglas debates, 81; and nuclear waste, 175-176
Illuminati (world's oldest conspiracy), 33-35; and H.J. Heinz,
	149-150
implants, penile, 44
Incas: and invention of the wheel, 190
income: illegal, and IRS, 249; illegal, and Swiss bank
	accounts, 261; of Soviet officials, 254-255; of Babe Ruth,
	vs. other sports figures, 264
incubi: and nocturnal orgasm, 48
Index of Prohibited Books, 57, 58
India, 76; timekeeping in, 96
Indians, American, language of: and "wau-," 216-217
infection: and brain surgery, 208; of nose, dangers of 205;
	viral, 213-214
infibulation: of females, 65; of males, 56-57
infrasonic sound: effects of, 212
inositol (baldness preventive), 203
intelligence: of cats vs, dogs, 4-6
Internal Revenue Service, 117, 294; and illegal income, 249
intestine, 155; effect of length of, on weight, 209; generation
	of flatulence in, 61; and peristalsis, 62; problems of, in
	cats, 7: and yoga purificatory practices, 39
Invasion Strategy (pinball game), 238
iodine: human need for, 166. See also potassium iodide
Ireland, 35; artist tax policy of, 299-294; seasons in, 130-
	131; and Spanish Armada survivors, 86-86; timekeeping
	in, 95
irrigation devices (self-propelled boom), 186
Italy, 40; and terrorism, vs. U.S., 171-172; use of chastity
	belts in, 66; use of long s in, 84
itching, spot: causes of, 69-70

J

Jackson, Reggie: earnings of, 264
Janssen, David, 278
Japan: subways in, 21
Japanese: in American baseball, 230
jeans, blue. See Levis
Jell-O: and pineapple, 261
Jesus Christ: birthdate of, 27; and halo, 32; height of, 26-27;
	origin of name, 27-28; significance of H in "Jesus H.
	Christ," 26
Jewish dietary laws, 265, 266
Jews: and Exodus, 28-29; in Ireland, 86
John XXIII (pope): and Fatima, SO
Johns Hopkins Hospital, 43, 46
Johnson, Lyndon, 108
Johnson, Samuel: and tipping, 262
John the Baptist: birthdate of, 27
John the Conquero		o: origin of term, 241
"joint": etymology of, 219
Jolly Roger: origin of
Joshua bar-Joseph: as name for Jesus, 27-28
Journal of the American Dental Association, 231
jumping: in male dancers, 73; as means of saving self in
	falling elevator, 155-166
Jung, Carl: and mandala, 248
"Jupiter Effect," 121-122

K

K, circled (kosher symbol), 265-266
Kaskaskia (Illinois township), 127
Kelly, Gene, 276, 277
Kemmler, William, 167
keratomileusis (operation on eye lens), 206
ketchup: bottles for, vs. mustard, 138-139; and H.J. Heinz,
	148; reaction of, with aluminum, 92
"key grip": defined, 274
Khrushchev, Nikita, 173, 256
kidneys (animal): contaminants in, 165
Kimble, Dr, Richard (Fugitive hero), 272
Kingsmen: and "Louie Louie," 239
Kinsey Institute: and Vatican pornography collection, 57
knife: as cause of death, 154-156
koan (Zen Buddhist riddle), 38
Komputer Dynamics (game company), 238
Korsakoff's psychosis: and alcoholism, 214
Kosher: certification process, 265-266; pickles, 266
Krantz, Kermit, 54
Krasilovsky, M. William, 246
Kubrick, Stanley: and special effects in 2001, 273-274
Kung-Fu (TV show): names of monks in, 280
Ku Klux Klan, 171-172

L

Labanotation (for dance), 294
Ladas, Alice Kahn (G-spot author), 54
landslides, electoral, 102-104
La Porte, Indiana: weather anomaly in, 120-121
Laurel and Hardy: musical theme of, 277
lawn: danger of chemicals used on, 20-21
lead, danger of in food, 166; in tuna cans, 168; in condensed
	milk cans, 145
lease, 99-year: origin of, 105-106
left-handedness: and baseball catchers, 229; and brain
	organization, 300-301; and wallet pocket, 299-300
legal tender: law regarding, 249-260
Legman, Gershon, 57
L'Enfer (pornography collection in French National
	Library), 58
Lenin: and Illuminati, 36
lens: contact, in orthokeratology, 205-206; surgery of, 206
Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo (drag ballet), 74
Les Preludes (Flash Gordon theme), 245
Levis: origin of pocket stitching in, 133-134
licensing: of song recording rights, 246-246
life, meaning of, 21
Life Savers: "sparking" of, 98-99
light: passage of, through glass, 92; and phosphors, 183-184;
	scattering of, in atmosphere, 129-130
lights, electric: and energy conservation, 189-190
lightning: effect on television, 127; heat vs. sheet, 129-130
lime: tequila and, 264
Lincoln, Abraham, 86, 103, 222; purpose of debates with
	Douglas, 80-81
liquid: cooling of, 90-91; glass as, 92; and peristalsis, 62; in
	space, 97-98
listening booths, record store: demise of, 244
liver: contaminants in, 165-166
Liszt, Franz, 245
llama: as beast of burden, 191
London, 5, 58; Nostradamus's prediction of Great Fire of, 40
Long, Dale, 229
Long Beach mummy, 164
Los Angeles: and earthquake threat, 120
"Louie Louie" author), 239 (actual lyrics), 239
love: antidote for, 62; potion for, 36
Low-Level Radioactive Waste Policy Act, 176-176
LSD, 88, 162
Lum, Mike, 230
luminescence: danger of, in key rings and watches, 183-184;
	in Life Savers, 98
lungs: and "sparking," 72-73
Lysol (spray disinfectant), 139

M

Mabs, Henry (inventor of pinball flippers), 236
macaques (monkey): orgasms in females, 50
Mack, Ronald, 106
"Make 'Em Laugh": similarity of, to "Be A Clown," 276-277
mail. See Postal Service, U.S.
maize, 78
Malathion (insecticide), 18
Maltese Falcon, The, 277
mandala, 248
Mandeville, Sir John, 4
M&Ms; (candy), 269
manhole covers, 187
mammals: belly buttons in, 1; tongues in, a
Marckwardt, A.H., 222
marijuana: and blood sugar levels, 202; jargon relating to,
	219-220; pest control during cultivation of, 18
marketing: of autos, 144; of cereal, 1 1 1-1 13; of diet
	beverages, 147-148; and "line extension," 147-148; and
	sweepstakes, 256; and WATS telephone service, 283-
	284. See also advertising; cigarettes; razor blades
Mars Candy Co., 269
Martin, Anna, 156
Marto, Francisco and Jacinta, 29
Mattlin, Everett, 208
Marx, Melinda, 163
Masons: and Illuminati, 33-35
Masters and Johnson, 53
masturbation: and ear sex, 48-49; and sperm banks, 58;
	treatment of, 56, 67
matches (paper): how they work, 89-90
maturity: in whiskey, 263-264
May Day: and Illuminati, 33-34, 35
McCall, Jack, 232
McCartney, Paul, 243
McCurdy, Elmer (Long Beach mummy), 164
McDonald's: hamburger consumption of, 142
McQueen, Steve, 233, 279
MDA (drug): chemistry and effects of, 88
mechanical license (for recording), 245-246
Meerloo, Joost: on tickling, 158
Meeus, Jean, 122
megavitamin therapy, 210
melanin, 93, 202
Mencken, H.L.: and Millard FIllmore bathtub hoax, 82
mescaline: and tequila, 264
metabolism: of Eskimos, 70; and weight, 208-209
metal detectors, airport, 186
metals, trace: in foods, 166
meteorites: impact of, on moon, 121; Nostradamus's
	prediction regarding, 41; threats from, 153-154
Mexican food: antidotes for, 262-263
Mexicans: and Alamo, 79-80; and chicle, 262; and invention
	of wheel, 191; and tequila, 264
Michelangelo, 57
"Mickey Mouse Club" (TV show): daily themes in, 272
Mickolus, Edward, 171, 172
Micro-Fragrance Coatings, 186-187
microwave ovens: deaths from, 162-163
milk, 263, 269; condensed, cans for, 144; effect on beer foam,
	271; and pesticides, 165; pigeon's, 12; "witches,' " 72
mill: coinage of, 254
Miller Brewing Co., 271
Minoxidil (balding cure), 203
mise-en-scene: defined, 281-282
Mississippi River: and Illinois border, 127
Missouri Breaks, The: animal injuries in, 281
Mobil Oil Co., 257, 258
monopoly. See antitrust actions
Monroe, James: election of, 103-104
Monsanto, 139
moon: age of, 121; blue, 131; dust on, 121; distance to
	horizon on, 120
Moore, Mary, 287
Morgenthau, Henry, 254
Morris Dictionary of Ward and Phrase Origins, 221
Morse, Barry, 273
Moses: historical record of, 28-29
most expensive thing in world, 249
Moulin Rouge, 298
mourning: for public figures, 114
mouse: experiment with reproduction of, 46
Mouseketeers, 272
movie jargon: best boy, 274; clapboard, 278; gaffer, 274; keg
	grip, 274; mise-en-scene, 281-282; second grip, 274
movies: depiction of suicide in, 155; screen credits in, 278-
	279; special effects in, 273-274; and subliminal
	advertising, 142-143; and 3-D, 279-280; use of animals
	in, 280-281; use of phone numbers in, 283, widescreen
	techniques for, 277-278
MPLSM marks on mail, 194
"Mr. Tambourine Man": recording of, 245-246
Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and
	Preposterous Words, 218
Mudd, Samuel, 222
"mud, his name is": origin of 221-222
Muggs, J. Fred, 273
mummy, 27; found in Long Beach, 154
Murakami, Masanori, 230
muscles: deterioration of, in alcoholics, 215; development of,
	and weight training, 209-210
mustard: bottles for, vs. ketchup, 138-139
Muzak theory, 240
"My Sweet Lord": litigation regarding, 106

N

Nader, Ralph, 177
Nakache, Patricia, 99
names, personal: legal right to, 109-110. See also surnames;
	titles
Napoleon: and Nostradamus, 40
National Academy of Sciences, 165
National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), 98,
	178
National Association of Broadcasters, 143
National Bureau of Standards, 288
National Institutes of Health, 212
national monuments: vs. national parks, 292-293
National Museum, U.S., 59
National Park Service, 293
Nautilus. See weight lifting
navels. See belly buttons
Navy, U.S.: disposal plans for nuclear submarines, 174
NBC (network), 275
Nebraska: and 800 telephone numbers, 283-285
nerves, 70; and cremasteric muscle, 64; and itching, 70;
	optic, role of, in afterimage, 65; pinched, 66; in vagina, 54
nests: of chickens, 2-3; of pigeons, 12
neurapraxia, 66
Newman, Paul, 279
Newfoundland: timekeeping in, 95
news broadcasts: scheduling of, 275-276
newsprint: in barbecue grills, hazards of, 169
New York (city and state), 7, 86, 147, 148, 149, 168, 253,
	262, 265, 287; 294; and Canadian Club promotion, 141;
	flea circuses in, 5; nuclear waste generated in, 175; origin
	of "Big Apple" nickname, 289; and pinball, 236; and TV
	scheduling, 275-276. See also Empire State Building
New Yorker, 219
New York Times: and Illuminati, 35; "Special to the New
	York Times," significance of, 290-291
Nicholas and Alexandra: exhibition of corpses of, 87
nipples: why men have them, 71-72
Nixon, Richard, 103, 182-183; mourning plans for, 114
nocturnal orgasm, 47-48
No Deposit, No Return, 163
None Dare Call It Conspiracy, 85
noon, reckoning and significance of, 96, 100
Northwestern Bell, 284-285
nose: picking, danger of, 205; ridges beneath, 60; and yoga
	purificatory practices, 39. See also anesthetic, nasal;
	smell
Nostradamus: accuracy of prophecies of, 39-41
"Now is the time for all good men. . .": origin of, 222-228
nuclear bomb: effects of, on Chicago, 173
nuclear power plants: disposal of spent fuel from, 174, 175
nuclear reactor: breaching of, in ocean, 173-174
Nuclear Regulatory Commission, 174, 177, 184
nuclear war: locale least affected by, 176; predicted by
	Nostradamus, 39-41
nuclear waste: disposal of 174-176; in ocean, 173-174
nuclear weapons: and plutonium, 175; procedures for
	launching of, 181-183
numbered accounts: at Swiss banks, 250-251
number codes: in soda fountains, 220-221
numbers, significance of: to ancients, 96; in Middle Ages, 230
numbness in limbs, 66
nystagmus (oscillation of eye pupils), 200

O

obesity: and heart, 207
Occidental Petroleum Corp., 150
ocean, 122; nuclear pollution of, 173-174
O'Connor, Donald, 277
Odorama, 186
Office of Price Administration, 289
O'Hare airport: significance of ORD baggage code, 291
oil companies, U.S.: advertising, ownership, and control of,
	257-259
oligopoly: in tobacco industry, 146
Omaha, Nebraska, 181; and WATS telephone-answering
	industry, 284-285
O'Malley, Joseph P., 168-169
Omnibus Crime Control and Safe Streets Act, 114
omphalocele (defect of navel), 69
O'Neill, Tip, 102
"opponent process" nerve cells, 65-66
orange: etymology of word, 260; navel, 267; juice,
	regulations concerning, 266-267
ORD (O'Hare airport baggage symbol): significance of, 291
Organized Kashruth Laboratories, 265
orgasm: in female animals, 49-50; and Grafenberg spot, 53-
	54; nocturnal, 47-48; and tickling, 158
Oriental surnames. See surnames
Orientals: in American baseball and football, 230
orthokeratology (vision improvement therapy): efficacy of,
	205-206
ovens: injuries from, 162-163
Ovid, 57
Owen, Richard, 106
oxygen: consumption, and health, 207; lack of, and
	drowning, 161
oysters: cadmium concentration in, 166

P

Pabst beer: calories in, 264
Pacific Ocean: most remote spot in, 237
pain, sense of: and itching, 69
Panavision: mechanics of 277-278
parallax: in pigeons, 13-14
Passover: and Easter, 96-97
Pauling, Linus: and vitamin C, 210
penis: surgical creation of, 45; cancer of, 52-53; of corpse, 70,
	71; enlargement of, 43-46; and Herod's Evil, 164; and
	"horniness," 216; implants for, 44; infibulation of, 56-57;
	of pigs, 46-47
Penn, Arthur, 281
penny: effect of, if dropped from Empire State Building, 171;
	as legal tender, 249-250; rewards of picking up lost, 253
Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture: inspection and
	registration program of, 260
pentachlorophenol: hazards of, 166
Pepsi Cola: marketing efforts for, 148
peristalsis (swallowing mechanism), 39, 62
permissive action link (nuclear weapon safety catch), 182
Perry, John, 54
perspiration: and belly button lint, 62; effect of painting of
	skin on, 168
pesticides: and cockroaches, 14, 15-17; effects of, on pets,
	20-21; in foods, 166
"petard, hoist by one's own": origin of phrase, 223
Le Petomane (flatulence virtuoso), 298-299
Pett, Grace, 156
Pettingill (ornithologist), 13
phalloplasty (surgical creation of penis), 46
Philip, Prince, 106
Philip Morris (cigarettes), 146
Philippines: cigarette smoking customs in, 231; tailed tribes
	of, 59
Phillips, Mark, 105
philtrum (space between ridges beneath nose), 60
phonograph records. See records and recording
phosphors: and luminescence, 183
phosphorus: and matches, 89-90; and spontaneous human
	combustion, 157
photocopiers: radiation hazards of, 178
photography: in public, law regarding, 116-116
piano-roll industry: and copyright laws, 246
Pican Corporation, 144
pickles, kosher: regulation of, 266
pigeons: and head-bobbing, 12-14; hypnosis of, 10; milk of,
	12; raising of babies, 12; and urban environment, 1 1-12
pigs: orgasm in, 49-60; sex organs of, 46-47
pinball: history and development of 235-237, two-man
	version of, 238
Pindar, Peter, 6
pineapple: effect of, on Jell-O, 261
pipes: ability of rats to climb, 22-23. See also plumbing
Pirandello, Luigi, 21
Pirate, The, 276-277
pitcher's mound: purpose of, 228
Pittsburgh, 147, 149; and sarsaparilla, 268
Pius XII: and message of Fatima, 30
Plagemann, S.H., 121
plague(s): bubonic, 23; of Egypt, 28-29
plastics, recycling of, 198
Playtex, 66
Pleasure Chest (sex toys retailer), 56
Pliny, 218
plugs, polarizing (electrical device): purpose of, 137
plumbing: Fillmore bathtub hoax, 82; in cabooses, 197-198;
	design of, in Sears Tower, 191-192; and rats, 22-29. See
	also urinals
Plumer, William, 103
plutonium: and terrorists, 175
pocket: placement of, in clothing, 299-300: and "side kick."
	224; stitching on, in Levi's jeans, 133-134
poisoning: and drug MDA, 88; from fruit seeds, 161; from
	lead in tuna cans, 168; from liver, 165-166; from
	newsprint in barbecuegrills, 169; radiation, potassium
	iodide as preventive for, 181
police, authority of: 110-111; at concerts, 116
polyneuropathy, alcoholic, 214
Polyester, 186
polyethylene, recycling of, 198
Popsicles: regulation and manufacture of, 269
Populist movement: Wizard of Oz as allegory for, 297
pornography collections, notable, 57-68
Porter, Cole, 276, 277
Post, Charles W., 112-113
Postal Service, U.S.: and carrier-route presort, 136-137; and
	MPLSM sorting marks on mail, 194
Post Toasties, 112
potassium iodide: as radiation poisoning preventive, 181
pounds (U.K. monetary unit): vs. guineas, 251-252
"pratt": etymology of, 221-222
pregnancy: genetic residue in females following, 48; and
	exposure to lead, 168; possibility of, with woman as
	"father," 46. See also cesarean section
president, U.S.: and launching of nuclear weapons, 181-183;
	and national monuments, 293
presidential elections, voter turn out in, 102-104
presidential succession: if president-elect dies before
	inauguration, 101-102
Presley, Elvis: attempt to steal body of, 109; Top Ten hits of,
	vs. Beatles, 242-243
Presley, Vernon, 109
pressure, atmospheric: and beer cans, 186; use of, in
	calculating elevation, 122
price: of cigarettes, control of 145-146; of most expensive
	thing in world, 249
Prince of Wales: how to become, 104-105
"print-through": on records, 195
"Private Case" (pornography collection of British Museum),
	58
propylene glycol alginate, 271; purpose of, 169
protein: recommended daily allowance for, 266; in shampoos,
	136;
pruritus (itching), 69-70
pubic hair: function of, 49
Publishers Clearing House: function of, 256, 267
Pujol, Joseph (Le Petomane), 298-299
pumps, gasoline: operation of handle shut-off in, 199
"pushers": in Tokyo subway, 21
Pure Food and Drug Act, 113
pyrethrum (insecticide), 18, 19

Q

Q: absence of on telephone dial, 286-287
quantum mechanics: and Schrodinger's cat, 94
quicksand: danger of, 121
"quiescently frozen confection": significance of 269

R

R, circled: significance of, 266
rabies transmission: by various animals, 23-26
racial mixing: in Brazil, 75-76
racial characteristics: variation in, 76-77
radiation, 173; background level in Chicago, 177; from
	copying machines, 178; as occupational hazard, 178-181;
	potassium iodide as preventive measure, 181; threat from
	luminous products, 183-184; threat from smoke
	detector, 176-178. See also ultraviolet radiation
radio: and Emergency Broadcast System, 183; scheduling of.
	in early days, 275; winning "call-to-win" contests on, 286
radioactive material: risk from, in smoke detectors, 176-178
rainfall: and cities, 120-121; and wool, 90
Raisch, Bill, 273
Ramses III, 27
Raphael, 57
rationing: during World War II, 289-290
rats: extermination of, 15, 23-24; house-entering ability of,
	22-24; tumors in, caused by saccharin, 138
Raynes, Claudia, 163
razor blades: efficacy of twin blades, 139-141
RCA, 244; and 33 1/3 vs, 45 RPM records, 196-197
Readers Digest: sweepstakes promotions of, 256
reading: eye movement during, 77
Reagan, Ronald: age and education of, 101, 102; election
	statistics of, vs. other presidents, 102-103; and nuclear
	waste, 174-176
recommended daily allowance: of vitamins, 210; of protein,
	265
records and recording: in broadcasting, 275; development of
	cylinders, 194-195; licenses, 245-246; numbering of sides
	on double album, 244-245; "print-through" (echo) on
	discs, 195; telephone time service, 287-288; turntable
	speeds, 196-197. See also Beatles; Byrds; Campbell,
	Glen; Cooke, Sam; Hendrix, Jimi; Kingsmen; Muzak
	theory; Presley, Elvis
record stores: listening policies of, 244
recycling: of plastics, 198
red: as color for barns, 289
Reed, Bill, 239
Reeser, Mary Harder, 167
Reg. Penna. Dept. Agr.: significance of, 260
Remington Gun Co., 188
repellents, animal, 20-21
Republican party: and Lincoln, 81
R.J. Reynolds: and cigarette pricing, 146
rhinoceros: and "horny." 216
rib, Adam's: origin of myth, 73
Richardson, J.P., 247
rifle: lethality of, vs. handgun, 154
"roach": etymology of, 219
Roach Prufe (insecticide): efficacy of, 16, 16
Roberts, J.M., 36
Robinson, Edward G., 233
Rockefeller, John D.: and Standard Oil, 258-269
Rock-Ola company (pinball manufacturer), 235
Roger, Jolly: origin of, 221
Romano, Guilio (pornographer), 58
Romans, 77; and corn, 78; and infibulation, 66; and Jesus,
	26; timekeeping by, 96; use of pockets by, 299; use of
	tickling as torture by, 158;
Rooney, Mickey: salary of, 277
Roosevelt, Franklin, 103
root beer: market share of 268, 269
root of valerian (cat stimulant), 7
Rotokas (language), 188
Rowlands, Samuel, 252
royal family. British: titles of, 104-105; and bottom vest
	button custom, 79
royalties: from songwriting, 245
rubber, 262, 289
Russia (Soviet Union): 29, 39-40, 41, 76, 83-84, 174;
	compensation of officials in, 254-255; ICBM homing
	ability, 183; nuclear capability, 173
Russian Revolution: and Illuminati, 33
Ruth, Babe: earning; of, 254

S

s, long: use and history of, 84-86
saccharin: and toothpaste, 133
sadomasochism: history and practice of, 60-52
Sakata, Lenn, 230
St. John's-wort (plant), 241
St. Louis University, 67
salary. See income
salt: and human body, 165; and tequila, 166
San Andreas fault, 119
Sandburg, Carl: privacy rights of, 109-110
S&M.; See sadomasochism
Santa Anna (Mexican general): and Alamo, 80
sarsaparilla (soft drink): decline of, 268-269
sassafras, 268
satellites: nuclear debris from, 173-174
SATs. See Scholastic Aptitude Test
saxophone: design idiosyncrasies of 241-242
scheduling: of broadcast programming, 276
Schick (razor blades), 140
Schlesinger, James, 182-183
Scholastic Aptitude Test: significance of scores on, 291-292
Schrodinger's cat: significance of, 93-96
Scott tissue: advertising claims for, 134-135
Scrabble: two-letter words for, 238
scratch-'n'-sniff: manufacture of, 186-187
screen credits: practices regarding, 278-279
scrotum, 164; artificial, 46; implants in, 44
scurvy: and vitamin C deprivation, 159
sea level: significance of 122
search: at concerts, rights regarding, 114-114; warrants,
	113
Sears Tower (Chicago): design of plumbing in, 191-192;
	temperature at top of, 125
seasons: variation in starting dates for, 130-131
"second grip": defined, 274
Second International, 34, 35
seeds, fruit: cyanide in, 161
self-propelled boom (irrigation device), 186
Semple, William F.: and chewing gum, 262
senility: and aluminum, 163-164
747 (airplane): loops and rolls in, 198-199
sewers: and Sears Tower, 191-192. See also manhole cover;
	plumbing
sex-change operations, 45-46
sex chromosomes. See chromosomes
sex differentiation: and hormones, 71-72
sex practices: of Catherine the Great, 83-84; of female
	macaques, 50; goldfish hermaphroditism, 54-55; of
	Portuguese in Brazil, 75; of silverfish, 14; and tickling,
	158; variant (S&M;, etc.), 60-62. See also chastity belts;
	"ear sex"; female/female conception; Grafenberg spot;
	herpes; pornography
sexual selection: scalp hair as factor in, 76
Shakespeare, William, 4, 106, 223
shampoos: effect on hair of, 204; protein, advertising claims
	for, 136
Shapiro, Ascher: and Coriolis effect, 123
Shea, Robert, 35
Sheaffer, Robert: and Jimmy Carter's UFO, 87
shedding: by cats, 7
Shemel, Sidney, 246
shot-and-a-beer, 266
Sholes, Christopher (typewriter inventor), 188
shortstop (baseball): origin of, 226
"side kick": etymology of, 224
silence, vow of, 30
silicone quarternary amine (antibacterial agent), 185
silver: in tooth fillings, reaction with aluminum of 92-93; in
	U.S. coins, 250
silverfish: and books, 14
Simos, Miriam "Starhawk." 36
Sinclair company: and Dine the Dinosaur, 8
Singin' in the Rain, 276
Single Integrated Operation Plan (SIOP): and nuclear
	weapons, 182
singularity: and black holeR, 152
skin: and alcohol, 215; color of, after racial mixing, 76-76; of
	dinosaurs, 8; and itching, 70; square feet of, on human
	body, 63; removal of, from squirrels, 11; color, variations
	in, within races, 76. See also tattoos
skull-and-crossbones, 221
sleep: and twitching, 69
smell (odor): of cat "spray," 10; of decaying corpse, 70-71
smell (sense): effect of air-fresheners on, 139; and nose-
	picking, 204-205; and scratch-'n'-sniff, 186-187; and
	sex, 49
smoke detectors, ionization-type: dangers of, 176-178
Smoki People, 65
Snow, Phoebe: origin of name, 246-247
snow: Eskimo words for, 224-226; measurement of, 124
socks, deodorant, 185
socialism: and May Day, 33-34
social security numbers: issuance procedures for, 116-117
Socony (oil company), 258
sodium: and bread, 158-159
soft drinks. See Coca-Cola; sarsaparilla
solar flares: and aurora borealis, 124; hazard to flight crews
	from, 178
Solgar company, 210-211
solstice: and seasons, 130
songwriting. See Big Wheel; records and recording
Sonney, Louis, 164
sound: effect of speed on, 88-89; infrasonic, 212; of one hand
	clapping (Zen koan), 38
Soupart, Pierre, 46
Soviet Union. See Russia
space: and black holes, 162; first song in, 244; outer,
	temperature in, 97-98
Space Hunter (3-D movie), 279-280
Spanish surnames. See surnames
Spanish: in Ireland, 85-86
"spare ribs": etymology of, 73
"sparking": in eyes, 72-73; by Life Savers, 98-99
special effects: in 2001 and Royal Wedding, 273-274
"Special to the New York Times," significance of, 290-291
speed: and airplanes, 198-199; and lethality of bullets, 164
	155; effect of, on sound, 88-89; of jump in falling
	elevator, 156; of penny dropped from Empire State
	building, 171; of turntables, 196-197
speed limits: during World War II, 290
sperm: banks, 58; calories in, 42; and Y-chromosome, 46
spicy food: antidotes for, 262-263
spontaneous human combustion, 156-157
"spray," cat, 8-9
Sprinz, Joe, 228
spruce gum, 261-262
Squires, Mike, 229
squirrels: diet of, 7-8; preparation for cooking, 11
Stalin, Josef, 266
stamps, trading: cash value of, 249
Standard Oil company: advertising, ownership, and control
	of, 267-259
standard reduction potential, 92-98
Stanlaus, Penrhyn, 246
"starring" (screen credit): significance of, 278-279
stars: and black holes, 152
Stashko, Edward, 24
stomach: 216; hairballs as protective mechanism for, in eats,
	7; cleansing of, in yoga, 39; and peristalsis, 62
"stoned": etymology of, 219-220
Strategic Air Command: and launch of nuclear weapons,
	181-182; and WATS service in Omaha, 283, 284
stress: and hair loss, 204; and heartbeat, 67; and metabolic
	rate, 208
Stripe (toothpaste): putting stripes in, 132
strontium, 169
subliminal advertising, 142-144
submarines: breaching of nuclear reactors in, 173-174;
	launching of nuclear weapons from, 182
succubus, 48
subway: electrocution from urinating on third rail in, 168;
	use of"pushers" on, in Tokyo, 21
sugar: in beans, and flatulence, 61; and gum, 132-133; in
	orange juice, 267; and"sparking," 99; use of, with carob
	vs. chocolate, 267; in toothpaste, 133
suicide: laws pertaining to, 106; use of water when slashing
	wrists, 166
sulfur: and blue moon, 131
Sumer: and Adam and Eve rib myth, 73; and invention of
	wheel, 190-191
summer: variation in starting date for, 130-131
sumo wrestlers: ability to retract testicles of, 63-64
sun, 121; and aurora borealis, 124; atmosphere's effect on
	color of, at sunset, 129-130; and black holes, 152;
	burning and tanning from, 124-126; and seasons, 130
Supreme Court, U.S.: and Standard Oil company, 257; and
	tobacco industry, 146; and covert entry, 113-114
surnames, style of, on second reference: Spanish, 294-296;
	Oriental, 295; Vietnamese, 295
swearing in: of atheists, in court, 110
sweepstakes: methodology of 256-257
Swiss bank accounts, 250-261
syphilis, 214, 218

T

Tab: marketing of vs. Diet Coke, 147-148
Tabasco sauce: results of drinking bottle of, 211
tails: in humans, 59-60
tape, adhesive: how it works, 89
tattoo: of Barry Goldwater, 64-66
taxes, 249, 254; Irish policy regarding, for artists, 293; on
	telephone bill, penalty for not paying, 253-264
taxicabs, 252, 253; yellow as color for, 146-147
Taylor, Zachary, 82, 102
telephone: and electricity, 285; and left-handers, 300; time
	service, 287-288; WATS service, 283-285
telephone company: and "ear sex," 48-49; and non-payment
	of federal taxes, 253-254
telephone dials: absence of Q on, 286-287; Touch-tone, 288
telephone numbers: phonetic, 286-286; use of, in TV and
	movies, 283
telephone service: prevention of interruptions in, 285
television, 291; and Channel One, 282; screen credits for,
	278-279; scheduling of programming for, 275; and
	subliminal advertising, 142-144; use of to detect
	tornadoes, 127; use of phone numbers in, 283
temperature, 64, 136, 159, 190, 212; of black hole, 162;
	effect of height on, 125-126; hottest, 292; regulation by
	body, effect of alcohol on, 215; regulation of, by Eskimos,
	70; required for incineration of human body, 156; and
	seasons, 130; in space, 97-98; in wood vs. metal, 90
1040, Form: and "illegal income," 249
tennis scoring: origin of, 229-230
tequila, 263; and salt-and-lime custom, 264
terminal velocity, 126, 192
terrorism: and nuclear waste reprocessing, 176; in U.S. vs.
	Italy, 171-172
testicles: ability of sumo wrestlers to retract, 63-64; artificial,
	46; removal of, 45
Texas, 26; and Alamo, 79-80
threats. See death; earth, threats to
3-D movies: technology of 279
3M company: and scratch-'n'-sniff, 186-187
third rail (rapid transit): electrocution from urinating on,
	168-169
This Business of Music, 246
Thunderbird (wine), 264
thyroid, 166, 181
tickling, 69; psychosexual implications of, 167-168
Tierra del Fuego: as refuge from nuclear war, 176
time: effect of black hole on, 152
timekeeping: AM-PM designations, 99-100; experiments
	during French revolution, 96; history, 96-96; non-
	standard practices, in India and other countries, 95; when
	centuries begin, 99-100
time zones: and broadcasting, 275; history of, 96
tipping: origin of, 252-253
tires: during World War II, 289; proper inflation of, 192-198
titles of creative works: laws concerning, 109. See also
	names, personal; surnames
tobacco companies: advertising of, as grounds for suit, 169-
	170; pricing practices of, 145-146
Today show: and J. Fred Muggs's girlfriend, 273
toe-dancing: by males, 74
toilets: in cabooses, 197-198; in Sears Tower, 191-192; and
	rats, 22-23; and women's urinals, 198
toilet paper: advertising claims for, 184-186
Tokyo: subways in, 21
tongue, 263; in mammals, 8
tooth fillings: reaction of, with aluminum, 92-93
toothpaste: ingredients in, 133; Stripe (brand), 132
toothpicks: how they're made, 134
Topsell, Edward, 4
tornado: use of television set to detect, 127
Touch-Tone telephones for use on rotary-dial lines, 288
towel litter: danger of, 211
Towering Inferno: screen credits in, 279
trademarks: law regarding, 109
traffic, highway, 21-22
traffic lights: timing of, 21
traits, genetic: dominant vs. recessive, 93
transposing instruments (music), 241-242
Trappist monks: and vow of silence, 30
Travis, William, 80
Trenberth, Kevin, 180
triboluminescence: and Lite Savers, 98-99
Trident gum: advertising claims for, 138
Truman, Harry, 102, 103
TSR Hobbies, Inc., 296
tube through earth: implications of, 126
tuna cans: dangers of lead poisoning from, 168
turbinate bones tin nose), 206
turntable speeds: development of, 196-197
Tuttle, Merlin D., 24
"twin-blade" razors: efficacy of, 189-141
twitching: while falling asleep, 69
2001: A Space Odyssey: special effects in, 273-274
typewriter: Chinese, 187-188; keyboard arrangement, 188;
	and left-handers, 800; and"Now is the time for all good
	men...," 222-228

U

U, circled (kosher symbol), 265-266
UFOs: and Jimmy Carter, 37
"ugliness ordinance": in Chicago, 104
ultraviolet radiation: in Life Savers, 99; and suntan, sunburn,
	124-125
Umingmaktormiut (Eskimo tribe), 224
umbilical cord, cutting of, 68
underweight. See weight
Underwriters Laboratories, 137
Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations (kosher certifying
	organization), 265
University of Chicago, 128
Upjohn company: and baldness cure, 208, 204
urinals, women's, 193-194
urine: animal, in "spray," 8-9; in outer space, 98
urination: with chastity belt, 66; and sex, 53, 54; and third
	rail in subway, 168-169

V

vacuum: effect of, on temperature, boiling point, 97-98; and
	gas pump operation, 199
Valens, Richie, 247
Valsalva technique: and "popping" of ears, 62-68
vampires: extermination of, 30-31
variable resistance (in weight lifting), 209-210
vasodilator: alcohol as, 216
Vatican, the: reputed pornography collection of, 57-58
VD National Hotline, 214
ventriloquism: techniques of, 231-232
vents (plumbing): in Sears Tower, 192; as entry point for
	rats, 23
Venus: and UFO's, 37-88
Vicary, James M., 142-144
Vietnamese surnames. See surnames
Vikings: in Ireland, 86
Virgin, Blessed: and Fatima, 29-30
virus transmission, 212, 213-214
vision: and afterimage, 64-65; methods of improving, 205-
	206; loss of, from alcohol consumption, 214; of pigeons,
	13-14
vitamins: as baldness preventive, 203; and common cold,
	210-211; deficiency in bread-only diet, 169; effect of
	deficiency in alcoholics, 216; megavitamin therapy, 210-
	211; overdose danger, 210
vocal cords: and cat purring, 6; ability to carry two notes
	simultaneously of, in certain individuals, 60
vote: in presidential elections; 102-104

W

Wales, Prince of: how to become, 104
Walker, Paul E., 211
wallet: and pocket location, 299, 900
Wall Street Journal, 289, 284, 291
Warner Bros. Records, 247
Warner-Lambert company (makers of Trident gum), 133
Washington, D.C., 1, 6, 212, 271
Washington, George: vote for, vs. other presidents, 103
water: and bread-only diet, 168-160; in chocolate chip cookie
	recipe, 271; Coriolis effect on, in drains, 122-129;
	divination of, 128-129; and drowning, 160-161; and
	plumbing, 191-192; and spicy foods, 263; and
	spontaneous human combustion, 167; and wool, 90; and
	wrist-slashing, 166
Waters, John, 186
WATS (wide answering telephone service) lines, 284-285
Watson, T.B., 198
"wau-," significance of in place names: Milwaukee,
	Waubonsee, Waukegan, Waukesha, Waupaca, Wausau,
	216-217
Wayne, John, 232; military service of, 276
weather: effect of cities on, 120-121; in Ireland, 131; and
	seasons, 130-131
Weather Service, U.S.: measurement of snow by, 123
Webster, Nesta: and Illuminati, 36
weight: at center of earth, 126; effect of obesity on heart,
	207; methods for gaining, 208-209
weight lifting: by chimpanzees, 2; free weights vs. Nautilus,
	209-210; and weight gain, 209
Weinhold, Karl August, 56-67
Weishaupt, Adam (Illuminati founder), 34
Weller, Charles E., 222
Weller, Newton, 127
Wernicke's disease, 214
Westinghouse, George: and first electric chair, 167
Westinghouse group, 240
wet dreams: in women, 47-48
whales, 218; depth of excrement of, 3
wheel: failure of New World to invent, 190; as metaphor, 248
Whipple, Beverly (G-spot author), 54
whiskey, 266; age vs. maturity in, 263. See also Canadian
	Club
wigs: use of human hair in, 204
wilderness: most remote spot on earth, 237-238
Wilkinson (razor blades), 140
Wilson, Brian, 241
Wilson, Dooley: post Casablanca career of, 276
Wilson, Robert Anton, 36
Wilson, Woodrow, 103
wintergreen. See Life Savers
wiretapping: and covert entry, law regarding, 118-114
"wishing": for water, efficacy of, 128-129
Wizard of Oz, The: as satire of Populist movement, 296-298
wool: ability to cope with moisture of, 90
World Dryer Corporation: and diseases from paper towel
	litter, 211
World Health Organization, 166
World War II, 57, 143, 291; and John Wayne, 276; and Levis,
	134; and rationing, 289
wormhole: and black hole, 162

X

Xerox machine: danger of radiation from, 178

Y

yellow: as color for taxicabs, 146-141
Yellow Cab company, 146-147
Yellowlees, D., 67
yoga: and cremasteric muscle, 64; purificatory practices of,
	39

Z

Zen Buddhism. See Buddhists
Zionism: and Illuminati, 36
Zulus: and barbecue grill design, 169


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