funny (15 posts)
Was infamous plane peer Gérard Depardieu flying on Incontinental Airlines? Did he create his own jetstream? Is he a native of the Urination? The answer to all of these, of course, is wee wee oui oui.
Hey, you try making those puns live on air and keeping a straight face. Because last night—much to the delight and amusement of his viewers—it all proved too much for the newest, well, golden boy of puns Anderson Cooper, who got more than a little potty while reporting on yesterday's bizarre celebrity news.
But don't take our word for it. This one you've got to see for yourself...
The comedian offered up a mea culpa to the Seminole Indians for not bringing the funny during what he called a "wild night" performing his stand-up act last Friday during a charity event at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Miami.
So what'd he have to say?
You don't need to be a time-traveling cyborg to make a quick killing in the comedy world.
In the latest South Park, Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child scandal becomes the talk of the lunchroom, even if Butters doesn't really get that the Terminator isn't real and that Arnold's love child isn't planning to time travel to battle Skeletor.
As far as we know, anyway.
Of course, this show's scorn even scorches Maria Shriver a bit (um, hasn't she had a bad enough week, guys?), but thankfully Cartman comes in talking about penis size and the show moves on from there.
Depending on your ability to swallow sex jokes and double entendres about two superclose heroes in spandex, the appearance of Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon was either an orgy of laughs or it just rubbed you raw.
Listen up, Chelsea Handler. Another Handler family member wants his turn in the spotlight.
The funnylady's older bro and After Lately regular Roy Handler tells us he's gotten a taste of fame and likes it. In fact, he's even started planning his very own small-screen series...
Things we learned about Stephen Colbert today: He's deathly afraid of sharks, he's been stung by a jellyfish and yes, he totally pooped in the ocean.
Why all the salty sea banter with the host of The Colbert Report? Having already made a name for himself in ice cream, the Olympics and space, the funnyman is about to race in a sailing regatta from Charleston to Bermuda in May.
Oh, and in fact—he's going to win. Find out what he told us about his preparation, where he got a sail with his face on it and why he used the ocean as a toilet...
Start writing up those tributes now: Conan O'Brien's beard was just given two weeks to live.
Will Ferrell dropped in during the ever popular "fan correction" segment of Conan last night, and immediately brought the hammer down on the late-night host's longtime hirsute ways.
"The error that I found is your beard," he growled, before delivering a threat to shave off the face fuzz when he drops by the show May 2. "That thing's a huge mistake. I'm gonna come there and fix it myself. Whether you like it or not, I'm gonna shave your beard. It's coming off."
And just in case that wasn't enough smack talk for the hairy host, who has not appeared sans beard since the final days of his Tonight Show reign, Ferrell dropped a few more verbal bombs on the peach-fuzzed funnyman.
"I am circling your face like a vulture who eats hair…I am serious. Beardly serious." Serious enough for us to set our DVRs, by the sound of it.
"Did anyone ever tell you you look just like Justin Long?"
That's what diners were murmuring to one waiter at BLT Fish in New York City on March 4 after the actual Long was discovered bussing tables, waiting on customers and hustling in and out of the kitchen with hot plates of food for hours on end.
Was this some sort of joke or did the funnyman need the tips?