Movie Dialogue That Nobody Has Ever Actually Said in Real Life
“Now, where were we?,” “You know what your problem is?,” and other turns of phrase that remind you that you are watching a movie, perhaps a poorly written one.
January 4, 2022
A Sibling’s Wedding Toast
As soon as I saw how happy Groom or Bride made Bride or Groom, I knew that these two were going to be (and live) together forever.
January 4, 2022
Dear Pepper: Papa, Mama, Can You See Me?
I️ wish I️ knew what they were thinking, parents. How do they not notice that their kids are individual human beings? Is it ever possible for them to learn?
January 3, 2022
Hangover Cures for New Year’s Day
Now think about what you’ve done.
January 1, 2022
America!: A Philosophy Course Taught by Your Favorite 2021 Memes
Lawyer Cat teaches you about nihilism, and the Ever Given cargo ship discusses Marx.
December 31, 2021
What I Will Give Up Because of Climate Change
Contributing to food waste, using plastic shopping bags, flushing the toilet, fearing death, and more.
December 30, 2021
Dear [School], Here’s My Soul in Six Hundred Words or Less
My greatest obstacle? After sixteen years on a dying planet, it’s definitely this essay.
December 29, 2021
How Dare You Steal My Soaps and Mints?
Your stay with us was temporary; the shame lasts forever.
December 28, 2021
Things We Have Successfully Domesticated
From hunting and gathering to grousing and grumbling.
December 27, 2021
Cleaning the Shower Drain
You never know what you’ll find when you unclog it.
December 26, 2021